Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Structure is so Important

I am very, very, very organized person.  I thrive in order and structure.  When life gets unorganized, then I go a bit bonky! I mean I melt down, my brain gets fuzzy, I get tired and want to hide until the order of life is fixed.  Adopting 3 kids, while having 4 others that are homeschooled, and moving with no dates or set times in place is the mega unorganization~major major major.
Getting up early to set my day in order.  That means coffee made and time with Jesus.  I must have that time to pray for myself, my children, hubby and friends.  This is my foundation of the day.  The storms come but with the sure footing of Jesus strengthening me, I can press on, not by my power and strength, but thru the Savior who loves me so much.
All of our children also thrive with the structure of our scheduled lives, but more so the new 3 boys.  They are so quick in seeing how the older 4 get along, and are following in their pattern.  Well, sometimes.  Mr. J3 is well, three and he is the most stubborn, and a big problem is that he is wicked cute!  I mean his eyes sparkle and he smiles like an imp!  I have to be firm, like real firm with him.  He gets no grace at this time. I feel like such a meanie.  He is wearing a path down the hallway. Tears are an automatic, talking back, doing what I just told him not to do, touching things he is not allowed to touch and multiple other infractions.  I mean it is like crazy, but he is doing really good at it.  He knows Mom says what she means, and that is helping the house to relax also as the structure is built from the ground up.
W5 loves the schedule, and really thrives with it.  He is going to do so much better when I can incorporate schooling with him.  Right now, we are trying to get all on the same page in a tiny little house.
D7, his homework time is the best to me.  It is just him and I and he loves that I sit right there with him.  I will be honest, it is 3:30pm, smack dab in the middle of prep dinner and get stuff ready, but I sit there and we smile and laugh.  He knows he gets to go on the puter when he is done, and he loves it. 
A big huge thing today, is W5 is not always kind to his big brother, but today, he sits behind him while D7 is on puter and says, Good job, I am here if you need help.  This is a big, I mean humongous step.  They seem to have been pitted against each other some way.  Our family is very much into encouraging each other, and kindness.  I am seeing kindness come out of W5.  All the papers on W5 background talk of his anger and meanness.  Now, I have seen it, and it is UG-LEEE!  Seeing the change is beyond beautiful. 
We are in revival this week, and that means church every night.  This is a bit of a strain for me, but I am seeing the difference it makes in their lives also.  The evenings are later, but it is all worth it!

Thursday, April 19, 2012


I love YouTube, Google and just plain researching things.  Cutting black boys hair was turning into a very daunting thought.  I had different people telling me different things, and I was having waaaaaaaaaaaay to much anxiety! Way too much.  I called around to some barbers, and more anxiety, til I called Berto at Tina's Barber.  He was so kind and said, $8.95 each, no worries, I can do it!
I pulled D7 out of school early to make the appointment, walked into the best kept secret in my little town.  A gorgeous salon with an add on old fashioned man's barber shop! I mean it is fantastic, clean and I loved it.  But I didn't see any man?
A sweet girl with a German accent asked to help me.  I explained I had an appointment for a man that cut Black boys hair at 3 for 3 boys? Panic was setting into my heart. My boys so wanted their hairs cut, their fros were beyond manageable. She asked if I was particular? NO, please, just cut them, please!!  An even smaller lady with a thicker accent took us to the barber area, and she rocked their heads! I mean it was great!  She said, black hair is the easiest ever!! I watched, and watched, and after all the videos I had watched that afternoon.  I think I can do it now!! yes!! Apparently, a good cut every 2 weeks is important to keep the look! So I will be giving it a whirl! May 2nd. 
Eric and G-man were so excited about how the boy's hair turned out, they went down today and got theirs done also! I love when they are all cut and looking spiffy!
Behavior has been so good!  There are some, but that isn't because of transition, it is because they are kids and get mad when things don't go their way.  The melt downs have turned to suck it ups.  Seriously, they go into their room, suck it up, wash face and come out with a changed attitude! Totally cool to see.
We are working on the I WANTS, and trying to change to May I have please.  So, J3 and I are going thru it outside.  I have the ice pops, I ask, "What color ice pop would you like?"
I want....
I correct, May I please have....
J3 smiles and nods, and says, May I please have...I want green!  We roll.  He is cute beyond words!
But they are sharing and saying sorry, and asking each other for things.  I love it! 
Watching my hubby with them is almost as much fun as watching Eric laugh at his Dad with them too.  The humor of Dad is caught by Eric and it is great fun.  

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Bingo for books! Plus Pizza and drinks FREE! Woot! I had cooked beans all day, made spanish rice and already cooked the taco meat.  I am so glad for cling wrap and refrigeration! hahahha
D7's class had a fun family night at the school this evening, and it was a bit tense at first. The caller was hard to hear, we were starving. 
This is the family that is on major structure, and waiting til 6:45 to eat when 5pm is the normal devouring time was a tough one to keep young bellies on task for books.  There were hundreds and hundreds of books there, and the teachers were handing out winning tickets even if the kids didn't get to say BINGO!  W5 got the first one and skipped to the book table.  Poor D7, he is just like a balloon, he deflates immediately.  His teacher was on him in a second with a winning ticket.  But, D7 did not understand, he didn't win? I can get a book?  He wanted to win!  Finally he did, and by that time, the free book tickets were flowing and the pizzas had arrived on scene.  The smell was heavenly.
There was so many pizzas that all our kids had at least 3 pieces, and Gman, egads had FIVE!!! The were pushing the pizza on us.  Eric was hoping for a box!
The day was pretty darn good actually.  D7 had a melt down, but not like a drama one, more just tears and thinking.  I went in every 5 minutes or so and just rubbed his back and told him I loved him, and asked if he wanted to keep crying.  He was so cute, he would nod yes, and then sniffle into his little face cloth.  I would kiss him and tell him again, I was waiting in the front room, and he was welcome to join us when he stopped crying.  He came out and we did home work and laughed.  This is working, and I am rather excited about it.  This is something we had never known about with the first 4 kids transition, and it would have been so helpful.
The craziness of the late dinner and all might have been the culprit, but W5 hauled off and just kicked D7 while I was watching out window, and big brother was right there also. 
D7 was gonna tell mom, but Eric said, no I will.  You stay here.  My son came in rather calm and explained. I told him I saw it, and W5 melted away into oh no, not me, I am falsely accused and all that, but using the main words, I don't wanna, no, I, I, I...etc.
He had to stop crying, and then apologize to D7 and tell him he loved him. 
Three times he came out, face stern.  I said are you ready to tell D?
He only wanted to tell his story.  Nope, back to the room...
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah and he would run back and jump on his bed.
So Dad told him, that's it dude, bed for the evening now.
It was about 5 minutes before all were to go to bed, the rest were getting there jammies and brushing teeth.  Neither of us would leave him in the dark or alone.  The fear of these babies is real.  So I lay next to him while he thrashed and screamed.  I prayed and sang, and then said, I want to help you to stop crying.  Lets breathe together.  I started taking big deep breaths.  After a couple he joined with me.  The crying stopped.  Aaah, now healing can work.
Do you want to come out with the family and pray?  Yes was whispered.
Can you tell D7, sorry and that you do love him?  Yes again.
I am very proud of you and I will hold your hand and be right there.
He apologized and said I love you, and D7 said it back.  Then they hugged! This is beyond huge! Oh my! I could have done a jig.
We prayed, tossed them in bed, and I sat there for a bit to watch them.  I was there about 20 minutes, sleep had come.  I thought! hmmm
Back to check in 10 minutes, spit wads and glow sticks had been pulled out and were hidden in casts etc.  Geez! I picked up the slobbery tissues, smarter now, and they would be wiping on pillow cases tomorrow.  Took the glowing stick out of cast and kissed them all again and waited another 15 minutes til movement ceased!
Can you love your children more each day?
Having little ones again, makes me freak each time Eric stands up, he is like a giant.  Abby makes me giggle with her determination not to let the boys get to her, she laughs and has made it a bit of a competition I think, Anna is just the little mom, and is beyond to watch, (she has a gift with the kids). Gabriel just loves playing with them and I think is enjoying the toys and time so much! 
We had all began to grow more independent as a family, the kids stretching their wings, going places and all, and this has really brought us in closer.  I am amazed at the dynamics of it all.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Huge Steps

Last night everyone slept in their own bed.  The young boys went down at 8pm sharp, and the rest of the family had to regroup.  We were all feeling the stress and tension was high.  I was so proud of my Eric, he talked with Dad, and then Dad to me, and then us all together.  We came together with a plan and all were excited to know what to do in melt downs and when things were out of  their control.  We began today anew! 
Then Abby was sick with fever most of the night, J3 coughed from allergies thru the night, and W5 had snuffles also.  Gman felt okay, no fever til this morning and then he was just exhausted and slept til 1pm.
I can not just go to the medicine cabinet and toss cough syrup down the boys gullets.  I have to have permission and let my SW (social worker) know prior (if possible).  I also have to log their intake of any OTC meds.  I really thought it was allergies, due to our insane weed pulling on Saturday and the high winds of dirt that covered our area.  I got some very low dose med for both young boys, and D7 was tough and ready for school this morning.

I played telephone tag with receptionists at orthopedic doctors to get a follow up for W5.  He broke his arm 2 weeks ago and is supposed to be seen now.  I can't just go to a doctor and say, hey look he has a cast, can you take an xray and see if it is healed and tell me more? I have to go to a primary doctor first and he has to look at it and say, wow a cast!  Let me refer you. Argh! Well we got the referral and our family doctor, whom I love, said, that I should give it another week before I call for appointment, so that when we go, they will probably just take the cast off!  That is one of the reasons I love our Doctor.
We had one melt down today and it was like 3 minutes long, I won! woot! Then there was another one, but it was so short, and I was so proud of W5, he came out and and hugged me, told me he loved me and played so good aterwards! YEAH
Then after dinner, all the kids wanted to walk to the park at the school up the street.  Hands held by partner is a must, but J3 decided, not for him, and had a melt down in the front yard.  I swooped him up and said no worries, ya'll go to the park, J3 is gonna go melt down in his room.  Bye guys.  J3 hooped and hollered for 12 minutes.  Tony and I giggled on the couch.  We are horrible I know, but the racket and outrageous repetition of I wanna goooOOoOOooooOOooo bring giggles to our lives.  He came out, astounded that his cuteness did not get him a reprieve and the kids were indeed gone without him.  I told him he could play with his treasure chest or with the legos.  He sat with the most forlorn look, but no tears or whinging.  I gathered my keys and files to battle the Walgreen pharmacy for Gabe and the boys meds.  Tony was to stay with J3. 
I WANNNNNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo! Shreiked from J3.  No, sorry sweetie, I love you, but Daddy is gonna stay here, and since you are in melt down, off to your bed. Kissed him on his abundant forehead, and he ran off to his bed.  Tony said it lasted about 30 seconds after I left.  The kids came home and didn't know if bathes were gonna happen or not.  They still had an hour of play time. They went back to park, and J3 got to go.  But had to hold sisters hand.
Laughter is heard down the street, door opens, J3 runs to me and says, Mom, mom, I hold sister's hand!
W5 jumps at me and hugs me so tight and says, I am gonna squeeze some love from you!
and D7 gives me a flower. I hugged him and yep, I cried.  I love these boys, they ooze love and just thrive in the midst of it!
I could not get him to stop moving once I put it in a pot with wet cotton balls to keep alive! It will be dried and pressed and put in a frame for eternity!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

My friend Jeanne left today.

She was my friend.  She was stubborn and opinionated and I loved that in her.  I will not post a picture, cause that would royally piss her off. She let me take a photo of her a few months back, with her son. I will print it and give to Orlando.
Jeanne was always trying to get me to be less loud.  She was a punk and I loved her.  The last few days, I prayed and cried out to God for her to be healed completely and nothing less.  Jeanne is a proud (in a good way) woman, and it would kill her slowly to be a burden to anyone. 
I am sitting here, all the kids in bed, and finally can let the tears flow.  Sad to not see her tomorrow, sad for her dear son, who I believe is gonna need more prayer than I did for his momma.  He is a good man, a husband and father.  He is Jeanne's only child, and she loved him and taught him right.  He is serving God and I believe will see destiny and become stronger through Jeanne passing. 
I met Jeanne when her son was young, very young, like running in the church young.  She was in Roswell, in one of our baby churches.  She gave her life to Jesus and never ever looked back.  When the church in Roswell began to sputter and grow smaller, she moved her life to Alamogordo.  She was a blessing as a single mom and worked hard her whole time.
Dang it woman, I miss you already!

The winds howled all day today, moving the desert up and into the air.  My chest aches from the dirt and from the emotion that won't release right.  I think perhaps I am waiting to see my friends tomorrow in church, the family that loved Jeanne also.
I close, and am just tired this evening.  I still hold my Joy and with that Joy, knowing how much Jeanne loved and served Jesus Christ. 

Friday, April 13, 2012

thumbp thump themp

I am sitting at the puter, enjoying cool breeze and keep hearing the thump thump in the hall? What? Tiny thumps, but lots of them and rather quick ones too? I forgot I had a 3 year old in the house that went to bed 30 minutes ago.  I go down the hall and a half naked little boy that has my heart is dancing in the hall.  Come on little man, you blew it, bed for you.  I put him in the bed he wanted. Tears! Oh the dear drama of exhaustion and being 3.  Come here little man, do you wanna be with sister? I could see the blankets nod in affirmative.  Come here hon, I will carry you, take your pillow, I have the frog blankie. 
Yeah, almost 50, and I am calling it a blankie!
I poured a very happy little boy into a mutually happy sisters bed and all is well!
On a good note also, I ate food this morning and had coffee...let all the family rejoice!  I was so mad this morning, I am in the bathroom doing dry heave retching and stomped out of the room.  I put a piece of toast in the toaster, and pulled a cup out of the cupboard.  I ate the toast and drank the coffee and got all indignant and said, "you stinking devil, you make me nauseous and I don't eat, so I get dry heaves, I am gonna fill my tummy with food, and puke in your nasty face!"
I ate, drank and was merry! 
We had our social worker visit and it was grand, the kids were so curious and just loving! She was a bit blown away after the reports on how detached they were and how hard it was for them to come around to people. J3 spent the visit, placing slobbery kisses on everyone, W5 kept sharing his ear bud from the radio Bubba Eric got him, and being amazed that his mom knew the words to Lady Gaga, and I think I hit a good note, in "I don't wanna be friends" bhhhaaaa, even D7 came in and talked about school and laughed with us.  It was such a great visit, and Eric can drive one at a time with him, until they are legally family.  Plus I can now go to appointments or run to the store and leave kids with the kids for a bit.  That is a huge help to me, and the kids (all of them) like to hang at the house.  Shopping is a bit boring most times.
We ate gruel for dinner (aka hamburger helper) and spinach. Then to the park for a run run run.  We had this great idea for Frosty's from Wendy's.  They are now exhausted totally, full of ice cream! woot!! Yep, home and pj's (well not completely) teeth brushed, prayers said, and in bed. 
Hence the beginning of the story. thumbp thump themp! A great noise to hear in the house. Sleep will come again tonight with a smile!

Just a day!

Woke up this morning to a text of a dear, dear lady friend is in hospital with heart problems.  I hit the couch and just started praying and contending for her!  The text messages were coming fast and furious regarding her updates.  Life and Death over and over.  Pray, pray and pray some more.
The kids all up and the routines of morning are going grand.  J3 and W5 love sleeping in with their sisters.  They are so snuggled and comfy and D7 is just as happy up on the top bunk in the Boy room.  He is like a cement block to wake in the morning.  But this smile that comes is worth the trouble!
Each boy has a sibling to help them dress, eat, teeth and hook up with for chores in the morning.  They do great at it.  D7 and W5 were secretly making Abby's bed while she was helping J3 brush his teeth.  They were giggling with such delight to bless their sister.  I took a million pictures and giggled with them!
We all drove to bring D7 to school, and Eric walked him in.  Then to a park to play for about 30 minutes.  The me the task master, have to walk.  We all took off for a brisk walk around the park, and J and W ran up and then down the hill, over and over, as I smiled knowing the exhaustion I was creating! hahaha evil woman I am!
Home to go thru the many boxes of clothes, shoes and other things to begin getting the garage prepared for moving and packing. 
**side note** with our other children, Eric came with a walmart bag of dirty clothes, and Gman and the twins about 6 boxes and 3 bags of clothes, these boys came with so much we had to rent a U-haul.  They have been in the system, but loved and cared for by some amazing people! We are beyond grateful!
J3 and W5 helped and played hard in back yard.  It was 2 hours of hard work! We came in and ate, and J3 knows that after his belly is full, it is time to lay on mom's bed and "sneeze" (which is snore) in Mom's ear.  He falls asleep in under 5 minutes and goes out for 2 full hours of peace.  J3 mouth moves on a constant motion!  He talks so much I feel for my mom again and again.
The 4 older kids took off to library, and other errands, so W5 and I had computer time.  He learned the rules of computer.  He built roads, and building s with TONKA!  He totally concentrated! His right hand is in a little cast so he has to use his left to do the mouse.  He did so good.  Here is a picture of him from behind. I plan on doing some layouts, but will blur the faces until the adoption is complete.  **pray for October please**
My phone has been vibrating like mad thru this whole thing, my friend is Stable, she is in surgery, she is doing well. I know there are hundreds of people praying for her, and I am so amazed again by the power of prayer and my God.
I close this post with a plea for prayer for my friend Jeanne.  Please pray for a complete recovery! Thank you my friends!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Power of a Shower

Evening update:
Today was D7 first day of school.  He is a bit behind and will probably redo 1st grade, but the teacher is going to have him "help" the kinder class when they do reading.  Then he will meet all the kids there that pour into her class, and take him on again.  She is totally smitten with him.  The teacher sent home some books for D7 to read and told me he was having issues with letters, sounds and blends.
Tonight, only D7 had a bath, because I wanted to give him a bit more responsibility as the oldest and teach him how to shower.  I filled up the tub and he soaked in there; with me, sitting on the floor, I scrubbed his back, and legs and then he stood up and washed. He talked non stop to me about school, the kids in the class, the life book we sent to him to learn about our family.  It was beyond awesome!
 We used a small bucket to rinse yesterday for bathes, so I said, "Would you like to try a shower?"
oh, my mind will hold that smile in my head forever.  He is such the little man, he wants to be the little kid, but yearns to be mature. I explained that Gman did not like showers at first, that he didn't like the water on his face.  D7 nodded with such a grown up face and said, "I don't like my face to get splashed, but I want to try this."
I have to say, that the adventure spirit in these boys can lift one up.  They try food and new things with such excitement and wonder! Okay, some times, food they are a bit wary, but oh if they like it, they are so happy!
Anyway, we (D7 and I) got the water temperature just right, and then I turned the shower head so it would spray the wall.  Oh my, it was cold.  D7 got laughing and fixed the handles and got the temp just perfect.  I have always been bad on which one is cold and hot.  He did it like a pro.  Then said, "Go ahead, and move it over, I can tell it is gonna be good."
I moved it onto his back and he was so happy! Our water bill will probably go sky high, but it is so worth the time spent, laughing with him. 
After the bath, I cut his toenails, and lathered him up with some cocoa butter.  Oh my goodness, but this lotion is like the best! His skin positively glows!  We also got some olive oil lotion for their hair, and it has made the hair soft and shiny.  I had a pick and got a brush from the Ethnic section, and D7 brushes his hair all the time! 
I went in to turn off the light and had to tell him to put away his brush! Hilarious! He picks it, then brushes, then picks and then walks around so we can all touch it! It is so soft! 
After the other two were snuggled in bed each with a "sister".  I had D7 sit and read with me.  I think my jaw fell open and hit the ground.  He did awesome! Way better than I expected! I mean, he is struggling with blends, but he has the sight words down, and most of the sounds.  I don't know if the meds for the AD/HD affect his reading.  He is so lethargic on the meds.  I am going to test this theory tomorrow morning before school.  To see what happens when he reads to me then.  I know that about 4:30pm, the little boy that is there is just precious and very alert and attentive.

Morning Sickness!?!?! With ADoption?

I thought I was gonna be able to slide out of it this adoption...but dry heaves all morning, clammy shaky. Darn it!  I haven't eaten in the morning, or lunch since Tuesday, cause of nausea! It is very funny to write this, but darn if I can control it!
D7 started school this morning, and he was so nervous, til he got there, then all the boys in the class were so happy to see him!  He smiled that smile that will just make you want to hang the moon for him.  I stayed for about 30 minutes with him and he waved and let me kiss him.  I drove off, and made it about one block and had to pull over...ugh...
Don't go on Aspen behind the doctor's office.  Egads!
I got home, and prayed again, had Tony pray with me, and we talked and I began all over again.  Getting mad at myself for it!  Tony says it is because I am so organized and like a schedule and we have been on, no schedule, just insanity for a bit!
We loaded everyone into the Beast (our van) and went to park.  I had paper and plans in my head.  Tony took the day off, since I was a dry heaving basket case!
These boys are beyond good, I mean, really, it is just I need to structure to help them.  That is slow going.  But it is getting better.
J3 is sleeping now, W5 is with Eric and Dad looking for boxes so we can start packing.  More insanity.  I am going to fight these nerves, I don't like them, and I am done with it! lol

**adding to let everyone know, I am a spaz and my body does this, but I fight it, and am still laughing**

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Off to meet the boys.

**due to privacy the boys names will be initials D-age 7, W-age 5 and J- age3.

Friday morning. Wait back up. Wednesday afternoon, Tony calls and says I got a van.  A 15-passenger van.  The bunk beds are set up.  The drawers are empty and ready.  I am ready, I think. Boy did I think weird!
Back to Friday morning:
We had to go to a calendar meeting, this is a meeting to figure out when we can meet the boys, when we can bring them home etc.  Social services and all really believed that D7 needed to say good bye to his teacher.  This was mucho important.  I had talked with her on the phone and she loved D7 and his brothers so much. The talk was us to drive 7 hours on Friday, meet the boys, and spend Saturday with them, and then return home Sunday evening.
The foster mom, my hero, and I will be doing a whole blog on her fabulousness; Renee, came up with the idea of us staying til Monday, so we could go to school, say goodbye and get home.  My tummy almost flipped, excited and scared.
It was settled, we drove out and off to the 4 corners area to meet our boys.  The drive is long, and boring.  We were all so excited and totally unprepared for what could, would or should happen.
Arriving at the hotel, about 6pm, we called and set up to go to the Foster Families home to meet.  I was shaking with I don't even know how to explain it. Fear, crazed and oh my goodness, Anne Marie, can you do this? for reals?? We all ate subway, splitting 6 inch subs, cause our tummies were so tight.  We got some ice cream drumsticks and proceeded to their home.
Now the foster family, I will call the Hutch's live in a outrageously beautiful house.  It is huge and sprawling and just wow!! We pull up, well, after I flew by it one time.  FosterDad(Rod) was outside, and then Renee came out.  Big breath and we walked to the back yard.  Renee had talked with them, and explained everything.  But the fear on their eyes, I could cry right now thinking about D7 standing there looking at me and his arms around his little brothers.  They were petrified, but still curious and had this adventure look in their eyes.
We babbled for a bit, then all the kids, went outside, each having a partner, and went on a walk.  That was what I needed, cause I was so tired physically from the ride, and emotions were just raw. 
They are so not like their picture.  The photo had been stretched out, and they are just tiny little men.
We stayed for a few hours, then went back to the hotel, just shell shocked but so encouraged.  W5 snuggled with me, D7 hugged me and talked a bit, and little J3, is a ham, and hugged everybody, and kept saying it's gonna be okay. 
Sleep came fast and furious that night.  Our boys knew us and we met them. 
More to come when I can sneak in time!