Stop thinking schoolishly. Stop acting teacherishly. Stop talking about learning as though it's separate from life. ~ Sandra Dodd.
I have been uhm overwhelmed with organizing and not getting the actual work moving...the kids are doing school work, but it seemed without a goal, or end point, just knee deep in mud!
Last week, I broke. My emotions won, guilt won, fear won and I was a quivering mass of jello, huddled in a corner. Trust me, it was not a pretty sight!
I had called my trusty IRL friend and had a good ol' laugh about homeschooling~we exchanged, "I don't knows" and I still was very anxious. There are some ladies over at the home school lounge that brought up a word...that as soon as one dear lady said it...my head clicked and my heart and brain went together and things started to make sense. The word: deschooling. Deschooling is the process during which children who had previously been in public or private school need time to decompress, to shake off the schoolish notions that have surrounded them and find their footing in the freedom that homeschooling affords them. Think astronauts reentering the earth's atmosphere. Same thing, different situation.
now~hold on to this word...let it sink in, because my kids needed it, but more so, I needed it! I have all my years and their years all rolled up together in the public school system. This has revolutionized my walk in homeschooling
So, the kids really had all summer to deschool, but I put them smack dab back into public school, but they were sitting in my dining room!
Last Wednesday, I did not get dressed (well, until church), the kids played...I mean played outside ALL day, I even took away chores for the day! ha ha
I cried, boo hoo'd, prayed and regrouped my brain.
I am beyond excited about the outcome:
I had boxed up the science and history curriculum, it is gone
Shurley English, although it has what I need, it is too school room/teachery for me. Gone!
The hold to this schedule - Gone
I also put Saxon on the shelf, not gone, but it's over for now. We were spending hours each day and I had yelled at my youngest til her eyes welled with tears. Not my finest moment. It broke me!
I found in my journeys and googling a woman named Carolyn Morrison, the Guilt Free Homeschooler. This woman has been in the trenches and is winning, and I want to be just like her, but different as all homeschoolers should be. I am never going to be you and vice versa, we take and choose different thoughts, ideas and plans to fit our family and situations.
The holes in my children's education were like bullet holes to my heart to add more guilt and push us back in my highly scheduled and goal related system.
Reading the numereous encouraging blogs taught me to take these holes as badges of honor, like I was a detective almost, and had found another area that needed to be fixed and or strengthened. I am not going backwards I am building a firm foundation that will help produce the confidence and knowledge in my children to press on to other areas.
I also initiated a workbox/folder system...kinda in the working out process, but as the new curriculum trickles in, I will take some pics and give you a glimpse, and the bumps and snags in it will work out a bit!