Promised Post on my Epiphany of Sorts

After yesterday's post I received this email from my wonderful MOM:

SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!! 

I love you,
Mum

She is beyond smart, cute and darn it, I look so much like her.  Tee Hee The photo is from Mother's Day, where the kids took me to Golden Corral and on the way out they all got cotton candy.  You can kinda see D7 and J3 is in car seat, and yep that is a 15 passenger van.
My Epiphany came in church, good place right? Sunday School, the whole armor of God...yada yada, what??  I asked a question about being tired of fighting and putting on the armor, and Pastor says, Take a NAP! lol, I am thinking oh, I nap, I collapse in total exhaustion dude! He went on to talk about people that are super organize and fill every bit of time being busy, are usually depending on the flesh of themselves.
 Did Pastor just publicly humiliate me? Did he say, Anne you are beyond organize, people envy your skills and you are totally fleshed out in this.  Relax and enjoy life and serving God and your children. He didn't say my name or any of the extra words in italics, but dang, his words about organizing kept reverberated in my head, heart and spirit. I admit, I read organizing books and scoff at their silly ideas(cause mine are better), or pat myself on the back and go, oh go girl, you do that and better than this ol' author.  Wow, it was a real eye opener. I talked with him afterwards, laughing and crying.  I do not want to make my children freak-a-zoids.  I want them to be good adults, but more so I want them to know me!
Now, please don't get all freaked and think I tossed out the calendar, my bra and dish detergent and began humming and just playing all day.
I actually erased my white board of times and chores and items to complete, and told the kids, I was making them all neurotic with my scheduling and lists and organization. I laughed and played a game with my oldest boy  (kicked his butt like 6 times in a row) and we bantered and enjoyed each other.  This is so huge right now, I can't even explain this one.

Monday, I asked them if they would like to just go on an adventure with me?  Everyone said yes.  We all took off on a hike in the desert behind our home and explored the places they weren't sure were okay.  We walked the mountain, to the space hall. Look at the picture, that is from our back alley, the starting point.  We walked to that cubed building, the one with the rocket next to it.   This is straight up. Gman ran the whole thing! We were gone for hours.  Just walking, talking, and enjoying being together.
We saw a cicada, and could see it vibrate and make the whole area buzz with the noise.  It was pure bliss, laughing outside and just enjoying my kids, instead of organizing them.
Can we (insert crazy question)? Sure, go ahead, try it.  They were so amazed and laughed and said, Mo-om (2 syllables) that is silly.  They boys all peed in the desert. That was beyond hilarious.
Today, after breakfast, we went again, my girls and I were together more and we talked and laughed as the boys ran ahead.  I am taking more time to be with them, not time punching, but spending moments together.

My house is no longer spotless. The laughter and love that is being shared between all 7 kids has just intensified this weekend. They play with each other and enjoy it.  They are learning (the younger ones) that it is okay and encouraged to go play a bit all by yourself, and that the older brothers and sisters are not your entertainment source.
I have to relax more, and enjoy the kids, because as I told a friend.  I don't want the kids to remember my toilet clean, but that mom laughed and went with them in their memories. 

Three Major Helps for our Transition in Adopting

The boys (D7, W5 and J3) have been with us almost 2 months.  Life has been remarkable in the true craziness of stress and change, but we are surviving.  

Last Friday, my brain shut down.  I mean seriously, dizzy, freaked and I can't do this anymore shut down.  I wept and collapsed in my room, scared  and exhausted.  I had to have E call my hubby home from work.  It was horrible.  He came right down the mountain, and just began to pray and hold me, while I cried like a baby.  I had been trying to keep everyone "happy" organized and busy.  I had run out of energy and ideas, and crumpled like a rag doll.  Taco Bell was decided for dinner, and a family meeting of the highest kind was called for after the young boys were tucked in.

The conversations that took place still today blow me away.  I admitted my weakness, and Eric had the best ideas, and brought up the BIG fact that I was sucking at communicating.  Mom, if you are feeling stressed, tell us.  DUH DUH moment.  We were all doing our own thing, and no one was communicating what we were doing, but getting upset, when someone else interrupted our plans.  We came up with some key words:

su·per·vise/ˈso͞opərˌvīz/

Verb:

Observe and direct the execution of (a task, project, or activity). Observe and direct the work of (someone).

This is not taking charge, but a casual eye when the young boys are engaged in an activity.  This took a big load off my older kids.

I was wanting them to partake in the activity on a constant basis, but it was driving me insane, and the kids too.  I had gotten out my handy dandy white board and schedules and EGADS I was pushing our whole family to the brink of pure nuts!

The other was communicate, with actual words.  For example.  I needed one hour to do bills, reconcile checkbook and write out menu for grocery shopping.  I didn't tell anyone, I said, please watch the kids.  That translated to okay, I will keep an eye on them, and then I wound up losing my mind.  But, now I say, I am going into my room, to fold clothes, but am available. 

The last part is pure genius, so you know that Eric came up with it.

Not the whole family divided, but when someone is going to play a game, or take a walk, having to take ALL 3 youngin's can just kill a person.  They are a bit, argumentative and so seeking attention, that you don't ever want to do it.  So, now, Eric will say, hey D7, wanna go get gas with me in the truck? Abby will let W5 wash the dog with her, and Gabe will just play Ants in pants with J3.  We rocked this.  Now the other 2, also know that they are gonna get to do something eventually, and that it just works out some how. This has made this weekend out to be one of the best ever.  I have one major change that happened in my life, and I hope to write it out tomorrow.  I am finding I now have time, and it can be filled with fun things, not just the boys.  I am learning and just wanted to share this with ya'll.

Wild Life and more abound in the new house!

This is one of the many lizards that have given their tails and yes even their lives for the amusement of the kids!  W5 was petrified at first, but D7 is a lover of all things creepy, crawly and that make mom cringe.  After much coaxing, W5 had that thing on his head!  I was shuddering! lol
Gman and sisters are right out there with the boys. Turning the over rocks, logs and other things in search of life.

They have found lizards, scorpions (which they know are dangerous) and even tiny little tree frogs.  I was totally surprised at the frogs.  This is the desert and water is very scarce and well I haven't seen a frog in town ever!
Right outside the back gate is pure undefiled desert! It goes for a long time.  There is an aroyo ( a ditch that will hold water if we get rain), then the hospital.  The medi-copter pad is in plain site and there is screams of helicopter and a run to get to the top of the rim to the aroyo to watch the helicopter land or take off.  There was about 5 landings on Saturday, and one take off, the people waved to the boys! They were beyond excited about that.  The blue man waved at us!! But it was said by 6 of them, over and over! 
The house is big and we all have space to play, eat, cook, learn and even be alone!  I have 3 big boxes left in my room, but am just plumb tuckered, so will give it a whirl after my 20 minute nap!