BUSY busy BUSY

Whew! Last night's sermon was one I had received personally from my Pastor a few months back.  You see, I have lived a very rigid and scheduled life for a very long time.  I set times and lengths of scheduled activities and never left room for just enjoying life and imagination.
On a white board by the computer was a time schedule for chores, school, meals and "free" time.  I was making my kids neurotic and I was already there! Now I didn't just do this for me, but oh the anger I would have when someone didn't do what was on the board in the right order.  I blame the book Cheaper by the Dozen.  Here is a small synopsis of the book:
No growing pains have ever been more hilarious than those suffered loudly by the riotous Gilbreth clan. First, there are a dozen redhaired, freckle-faced kids to contend with. Then there's Dad, a famous efficiency expert, who believes a family can be run just like a factory. And there's Mother, his partner in everything except discipline. You can be sure that they're not only cheaper, they're funnier by the dozen.

The bold is me, I was running my family like a factory.  That is not a good thing. I talked with my Pastor about my freaky nature.  He laughed and said, you have a big family, I understand the need to be organized,
BUT...........................................
you have to relax a bit more, and enjoy the time you have with them.

This was like a weight lifted from my  shoulders, heart and mind!  I went home and erased the white board, and told the kids sorry I was a spaz.  They laughed.  We had field trips just because, stayed at the park for longer and laughed more. 
Now I am still very organized, for crying out loud, I have 7 children!  We have set days for laundry, chores are assigned, and I do a menu for the week (to save my sanity, and help in grocery shopping).  Home-school is pretty organized and we figure out daily the car situation.  Eric works, Tony bikes usually to work and I am chauffeur to many kids (to school, preschool and activities).  But I don't regulate life anymore.  I don't freak on my floors being sticky, dust build up(heck I live in the desert, I won't ever win).
I listened to the sermon last night, as one who has been set free from being busy for the sake of being busy, and Pastor said, find that one thing God wants you to do, and do it with all your heart. I am a wife and a mom to many.
I love God so much, Jesus touched my life 20 some years ago, and I have not lost the wonder and gratefulness to my Savior.  The time I spend in reading my bible and prayer has become sweeter and stronger as I have unregulated my life.  I am amazed at the closeness in relationships with my family and even friends.  I think I can be a bit "overwhelming and daunting" to others with my organization.  I want to relax, and be like that happy little goldfish in the bowl sometimes, and now I can!

A day of RESPITE

res·pite/ˈrespət/

Noun:

A short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant. Good Golly that sounds horrible but this is what we had Saturday.  As many of you know we are in the midst of fostering to adopt three remarkable boys.  D7, W5 and J4.  They are a handful and we also have 4 previously adopted children Mr. E16, Gman14 and the twinklies who are 13. A few weeks ago, exhaustion and just plain worn out mom and the Bigs(my name for the teens) were ready to quit, cry and raise the flag of surrender.  Thankfully, my awesome hubby reacts with less emotions than me.  Yeah, it was a bit rough, yeah the situation gets a bit intense more times than we would like and the memories of before the Littles was dancing like sugar plums in our heads. Quitting is NOT an option, but a day of rest or relief was and through organization and planning (getting people off from work), and a family that are foster licensed and would have the means to take in 3 boys for the day happened! Saturday, we brought the Littles to a meeting place where the fabulous foster family took them off for a day of football, snacks, outdoor running around, horseback rides and pure joyful time.  None of the Littles even napped! That was huge!  They went all day, I mean all day. We drove to pick them up at 8pm, and I told them they needed a bath, and D7 says, "oh can I please go first Mom, I am so tired, I just want to go to bed!"  We did speed baths and they were asleep before their little heads hit the pillow. The Bigs, along with Mom and Dad spent the day together, we went out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and shopped in Cruces, and just spent money and time together.  It was so refreshing not to have to watch over little brothers or herd them here and there.  But they were missed. The drive home down the mountain was beyond good.  I got glow sticks for everyone, and it was good.

One in tub...must be Saturday!

As little J3 enjoys a bubble bath and the excitement of having a new toy, aka colander,  I sit and do a recap of the week
Monday was a holiday, and my dear hubby got hit with bad allergies and topped by irritation by the fires here in New Mexico. The skies have been filled for a few days with brown nastiness.  The sun is a deep and vibrant red as it sets each night.

Rather magnificent actually, if the air would be clear.  My youngest boys are really having a hard time with their noses too.  Tony got some relief Tuesday at the doctor and some antibiotics.  I was so glad!  He has a lingering cough, but is pressing in and being his awesome self.  Fixing tires, scrubbing my kitchen and encouraging us too.
This week started the FREE breakfast and lunches at the school.  With seven children, this is a HUGE HUGE help.  We go to two schools for breakfast, so the boys get full.  Then go to 3 at lunch, but the last one, we just relax and let the little ones play on the playground as it is at the park.  We bring water and just enjoy the time.
Anna cut my hair this week, and I cut 5 inches off Abby's hair too.  We are ready for the hot weather!
I am gonna have to bring her to the beauty college to make it even, but she is so sweet and just loves it short and easy to manage.  Anna needs hers relayered, so we will give that a whirl next week.
We had some friends over (Jim Larry and his beautiful bride Wilma) Friday night for some bomb diddly bagoki elk and General Tsaos chicken. 
Eric was rather excited, as he found a scooter for sale for $140, and went and withdrew cash, and got it for $120.

Yes, I was freaking and yes, I will pray, but I am so proud of my son.  He is a good driver and very responsible.  EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeek! What am I writing, I am totally freaked and can not believe he is on this thing! lol
I close as my poor little boy's fingers become wrinkled messes.  Great week and more to come in the future!

Promised Post on my Epiphany of Sorts

After yesterday's post I received this email from my wonderful MOM:

SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!! 

I love you,
Mum

She is beyond smart, cute and darn it, I look so much like her.  Tee Hee The photo is from Mother's Day, where the kids took me to Golden Corral and on the way out they all got cotton candy.  You can kinda see D7 and J3 is in car seat, and yep that is a 15 passenger van.
My Epiphany came in church, good place right? Sunday School, the whole armor of God...yada yada, what??  I asked a question about being tired of fighting and putting on the armor, and Pastor says, Take a NAP! lol, I am thinking oh, I nap, I collapse in total exhaustion dude! He went on to talk about people that are super organize and fill every bit of time being busy, are usually depending on the flesh of themselves.
 Did Pastor just publicly humiliate me? Did he say, Anne you are beyond organize, people envy your skills and you are totally fleshed out in this.  Relax and enjoy life and serving God and your children. He didn't say my name or any of the extra words in italics, but dang, his words about organizing kept reverberated in my head, heart and spirit. I admit, I read organizing books and scoff at their silly ideas(cause mine are better), or pat myself on the back and go, oh go girl, you do that and better than this ol' author.  Wow, it was a real eye opener. I talked with him afterwards, laughing and crying.  I do not want to make my children freak-a-zoids.  I want them to be good adults, but more so I want them to know me!
Now, please don't get all freaked and think I tossed out the calendar, my bra and dish detergent and began humming and just playing all day.
I actually erased my white board of times and chores and items to complete, and told the kids, I was making them all neurotic with my scheduling and lists and organization. I laughed and played a game with my oldest boy  (kicked his butt like 6 times in a row) and we bantered and enjoyed each other.  This is so huge right now, I can't even explain this one.

Monday, I asked them if they would like to just go on an adventure with me?  Everyone said yes.  We all took off on a hike in the desert behind our home and explored the places they weren't sure were okay.  We walked the mountain, to the space hall. Look at the picture, that is from our back alley, the starting point.  We walked to that cubed building, the one with the rocket next to it.   This is straight up. Gman ran the whole thing! We were gone for hours.  Just walking, talking, and enjoying being together.
We saw a cicada, and could see it vibrate and make the whole area buzz with the noise.  It was pure bliss, laughing outside and just enjoying my kids, instead of organizing them.
Can we (insert crazy question)? Sure, go ahead, try it.  They were so amazed and laughed and said, Mo-om (2 syllables) that is silly.  They boys all peed in the desert. That was beyond hilarious.
Today, after breakfast, we went again, my girls and I were together more and we talked and laughed as the boys ran ahead.  I am taking more time to be with them, not time punching, but spending moments together.

My house is no longer spotless. The laughter and love that is being shared between all 7 kids has just intensified this weekend. They play with each other and enjoy it.  They are learning (the younger ones) that it is okay and encouraged to go play a bit all by yourself, and that the older brothers and sisters are not your entertainment source.
I have to relax more, and enjoy the kids, because as I told a friend.  I don't want the kids to remember my toilet clean, but that mom laughed and went with them in their memories. 

Three Major Helps for our Transition in Adopting

The boys (D7, W5 and J3) have been with us almost 2 months.  Life has been remarkable in the true craziness of stress and change, but we are surviving.  

Last Friday, my brain shut down.  I mean seriously, dizzy, freaked and I can't do this anymore shut down.  I wept and collapsed in my room, scared  and exhausted.  I had to have E call my hubby home from work.  It was horrible.  He came right down the mountain, and just began to pray and hold me, while I cried like a baby.  I had been trying to keep everyone "happy" organized and busy.  I had run out of energy and ideas, and crumpled like a rag doll.  Taco Bell was decided for dinner, and a family meeting of the highest kind was called for after the young boys were tucked in.

The conversations that took place still today blow me away.  I admitted my weakness, and Eric had the best ideas, and brought up the BIG fact that I was sucking at communicating.  Mom, if you are feeling stressed, tell us.  DUH DUH moment.  We were all doing our own thing, and no one was communicating what we were doing, but getting upset, when someone else interrupted our plans.  We came up with some key words:

su·per·vise/ˈso͞opərˌvīz/

Verb:

Observe and direct the execution of (a task, project, or activity). Observe and direct the work of (someone).

This is not taking charge, but a casual eye when the young boys are engaged in an activity.  This took a big load off my older kids.

I was wanting them to partake in the activity on a constant basis, but it was driving me insane, and the kids too.  I had gotten out my handy dandy white board and schedules and EGADS I was pushing our whole family to the brink of pure nuts!

The other was communicate, with actual words.  For example.  I needed one hour to do bills, reconcile checkbook and write out menu for grocery shopping.  I didn't tell anyone, I said, please watch the kids.  That translated to okay, I will keep an eye on them, and then I wound up losing my mind.  But, now I say, I am going into my room, to fold clothes, but am available. 

The last part is pure genius, so you know that Eric came up with it.

Not the whole family divided, but when someone is going to play a game, or take a walk, having to take ALL 3 youngin's can just kill a person.  They are a bit, argumentative and so seeking attention, that you don't ever want to do it.  So, now, Eric will say, hey D7, wanna go get gas with me in the truck? Abby will let W5 wash the dog with her, and Gabe will just play Ants in pants with J3.  We rocked this.  Now the other 2, also know that they are gonna get to do something eventually, and that it just works out some how. This has made this weekend out to be one of the best ever.  I have one major change that happened in my life, and I hope to write it out tomorrow.  I am finding I now have time, and it can be filled with fun things, not just the boys.  I am learning and just wanted to share this with ya'll.

Wild Life and more abound in the new house!

This is one of the many lizards that have given their tails and yes even their lives for the amusement of the kids!  W5 was petrified at first, but D7 is a lover of all things creepy, crawly and that make mom cringe.  After much coaxing, W5 had that thing on his head!  I was shuddering! lol
Gman and sisters are right out there with the boys. Turning the over rocks, logs and other things in search of life.

They have found lizards, scorpions (which they know are dangerous) and even tiny little tree frogs.  I was totally surprised at the frogs.  This is the desert and water is very scarce and well I haven't seen a frog in town ever!
Right outside the back gate is pure undefiled desert! It goes for a long time.  There is an aroyo ( a ditch that will hold water if we get rain), then the hospital.  The medi-copter pad is in plain site and there is screams of helicopter and a run to get to the top of the rim to the aroyo to watch the helicopter land or take off.  There was about 5 landings on Saturday, and one take off, the people waved to the boys! They were beyond excited about that.  The blue man waved at us!! But it was said by 6 of them, over and over! 
The house is big and we all have space to play, eat, cook, learn and even be alone!  I have 3 big boxes left in my room, but am just plumb tuckered, so will give it a whirl after my 20 minute nap!

Structure is so Important

I am very, very, very organized person.  I thrive in order and structure.  When life gets unorganized, then I go a bit bonky! I mean I melt down, my brain gets fuzzy, I get tired and want to hide until the order of life is fixed.  Adopting 3 kids, while having 4 others that are homeschooled, and moving with no dates or set times in place is the mega unorganization~major major major.
Getting up early to set my day in order.  That means coffee made and time with Jesus.  I must have that time to pray for myself, my children, hubby and friends.  This is my foundation of the day.  The storms come but with the sure footing of Jesus strengthening me, I can press on, not by my power and strength, but thru the Savior who loves me so much.
All of our children also thrive with the structure of our scheduled lives, but more so the new 3 boys.  They are so quick in seeing how the older 4 get along, and are following in their pattern.  Well, sometimes.  Mr. J3 is well, three and he is the most stubborn, and a big problem is that he is wicked cute!  I mean his eyes sparkle and he smiles like an imp!  I have to be firm, like real firm with him.  He gets no grace at this time. I feel like such a meanie.  He is wearing a path down the hallway. Tears are an automatic, talking back, doing what I just told him not to do, touching things he is not allowed to touch and multiple other infractions.  I mean it is like crazy, but he is doing really good at it.  He knows Mom says what she means, and that is helping the house to relax also as the structure is built from the ground up.
W5 loves the schedule, and really thrives with it.  He is going to do so much better when I can incorporate schooling with him.  Right now, we are trying to get all on the same page in a tiny little house.
D7, his homework time is the best to me.  It is just him and I and he loves that I sit right there with him.  I will be honest, it is 3:30pm, smack dab in the middle of prep dinner and get stuff ready, but I sit there and we smile and laugh.  He knows he gets to go on the puter when he is done, and he loves it. 
A big huge thing today, is W5 is not always kind to his big brother, but today, he sits behind him while D7 is on puter and says, Good job, I am here if you need help.  This is a big, I mean humongous step.  They seem to have been pitted against each other some way.  Our family is very much into encouraging each other, and kindness.  I am seeing kindness come out of W5.  All the papers on W5 background talk of his anger and meanness.  Now, I have seen it, and it is UG-LEEE!  Seeing the change is beyond beautiful. 
We are in revival this week, and that means church every night.  This is a bit of a strain for me, but I am seeing the difference it makes in their lives also.  The evenings are later, but it is all worth it!